The Black Box
by missheartilly
Summary: A story inspired from one of 100series' fics, written for two of my xeno fanfiction friends. Depressing, angst ridden... and somehow ended up as ZiggyxJuli. Jr. chaos, Shion and the Elsa crew appear too.


**The Black Box**

**Summary: **A story inspired from one of 100-series' fics, written for two of my xeno fanfiction friends. Depressing, angst ridden... and somehow ended up as ZiggyxJuli.

**Warnings:** Rated M for some subject matter and language, but it's nothing too bad. Just upping the rating just to be safe.

This is a little off-shoot from 100-Series' Golden Bullet 30 Kisses story. It takes place during the Growth Scenario.

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Ziggy had retreated to the maintenance bed in the hull of the Elsa, after returning from the chamber where he had encountered the black testament. He was beaten and and badly injured, but alive. He had only hoped the same was true for the others.

Shion, chaos, KOS-MOS, and the rest of the Elsa crew, sans Jr who was sleeping soundly in the men's cabin were standing on the Bridge. After a long silence, Shion looked up at the others, still holding the small black box in her hands. "Who should tell Ziggy?"

Captain Matthews frowned, his hands dropping to his sides. The red hat he held was crumpled in one hand. "That poor old guy's gonna be devastated."

"Someone should tell him." Shion looked down at her hands, cradling what was left of the little girl who had brought so much life to their adoptive family.

"I'll tell him." chaos said, placing a gloved hand on her shoulder.

"Are you sure?" She glanced up at him.

"Yeah. I think I'll be able to handle it the best out of all of us." He dropped his hand and turned around.

"Wait, chaos!" She called back. When the silver-haired boy turned around, she handed him the box in her hands. "He might want to see her..."

He gave her a simple nod and then headed toward the elevator.

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The door slid open, and chaos entered carrying MOMO's remains in both hands. He felt horrible, as he watched the cyborg sleep. He was being repaired by nanomachines and he'd be back to normal in no time at all. However, he knew that would be no such case with his emotions.

_I'm sorry. I'm responsible for putting you through all of this, I had hoped that somehow things would work out for the best. But now..._

He remembered how he had interfered so long ago, saving his life. Then later, he had pulled strings to allow him to become a cyborg. He knew that he would find meaning in this time and place after everything had been ripped from him in life, and even afterwards. Now, one more thing had been taken from him. He blamed himself, and wondered if they would again go through another recurrence.

The footfalls caused him to open his eyes. He was half expecting Jr or MOMO to come into the room, telling him that everything was all right. However, he knew something was wrong when chaos approached, a solemn look on his face.

"chaos?" He asked. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm sorry." he said simply, and handed him the black box. He wasn't sure what else to say.

He took it, and examined it, not sure what it was exactly. "What is this?"

chaos looked away, afraid to see the expression on his face. "It's... MOMO, or rather, what remains of her."

Ziggy shook, quite visibly, dropping the box. It slipped from his hands to his metal legs and hit the floor. "What?" He asked, getting up from the chair. He still hurt, and it was hard for him to walk, but he paid it no mind. He stood before chaos and stared down at him. "Tell me what happened."

"Well... I'm not sure how to explain this, exactly..." chaos began, frantically trying to search for the right words, and how to phrase them. He almost jolted when he felt the cyborg's heavy hands grasp onto his shoulders.

"Tell me. What happened to her?" chaos could tell he was trying so hard to hide his emotions. There was an urgency in his voice that he hadn't heard before.

"While trying to allow Jr and KOS-MOS entry back into the Elsa, and stop the Zohar from going out of control, she linked with the Zohar. And... her body was destroyed in the process." chaos explained.

"Can we revert it?" He asked him, the desperation was clear in his usually calm voice.

"I... I don't know." He didn't know how to say it. For all practical purposes, MOMO was dead.

"Then she's..." He blinked, feeling himself crumble. He tried hard to remain standing. He was sure that if he had human legs, he would have collapsed to the floor. "MOMO is..."

"I'm sorry." chaos apologized again, knowing that there was nothing that could be done to ease the pain he was going through.

Ziggy shook his head, placing his right hand to his forehead. "I'm sorry, could you... leave me be for awhile?"

"Yes." He said, and turned around, leaving the cyborg and what remained of his adoptive daughter in the room.

When he heard the elevator ascend to the main floor, he turned to the wall and began to punch it violently. He immediately began to blame himself. He thought of all the possibilities. He wondered if things would have ended up differently if had been with them. He didn't care what hand he was hitting the wall with, any damage to him meant nothing now. Then, he thought for a moment, that if she was there, she would have scolded him for acting this way. He glanced over to his bed and noticed the box. Picking it up, he held it in his hands, as gingerly as he could.

"I'm sorry, MOMO. I... I failed you." He allowed himself to collapse onto the floor, and leaned against the wall. He continued to stare at the box. He had always thought of MOMO as a real girl. Never did he refer to her as an object. It was painful and ironic, staring down at what remained of her. Now, she was nothing more than an inanimate object with no human form. He knew, with her gone, he had no reason to continue living. He realized there would be no more tugging at his arm, or waking up in the middle of the night as she crawled onto his lap. There would be no more of the laughter that he loved to hear, or the hugs which he found so hard to return. Had he taken all of these little things for granted, even after he had been given another chance? Ziggy remained there for the longest time. He couldn't cry, all he felt was anger toward himself and disbelief.

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He wasn't sure how long it had been, when he finally emerged from the room where he had taken up residence. It must have been days. He wasn't sure. He did remember chaos returning a few times, to bring him water, or try to console him. All he could muster was a simple "thank you" but he had shut him off. He barely even touched what he had brought him, just leaving it sit on a nearby table. Ziggy didn't know how he had found the energy or willpower to even go upstairs and see the others. He had become so used to being alone, but now, he realized that he needed some form of company.

What he saw, when he surfaced, was completely different. The Elsa was quiet. Not even the sound of the Seraphim Sisters could be heard blaring on the speaker system. He walked to the bridge, and he noticed that the crew was gone. He realized then, that they were docked at the Kukai Foundation.

The cyborg turned around and walked toward the exit. As the hatch opened, he noticed Captain Matthews standing there, holding a bottle of aged whiskey. Unsure of how sober the Elsa captain was, he approached.

"I see you're up and around." He said, taking another swig of the brown liquid. "Shion went back to Vector with Allen, The Little Master's pent up in his room, and the rest of us... well, we're here."

"Thanks." Ziggy replied, and then passed him.

"Hey." Matthews waved at him, causing the cyborg's heavy footfalls to halt. He glanced over his shoulder at him. "Are you going to be alright, I mean with... We were all worried about you."

Ziggy appreciated the concerns, but he didn't have the willpower to reply. He simply hung his head, and continued toward the transporter.

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Jr. stared blankly at the ceiling. He felt hollow and cold. He had only been here for a day, but to him, it seemed like weeks since the whole event had taken place. Time seemed to stand completely still. Sighing, he rolled onto his side, and stared at the wall.

"Little Mastah!" Mary poked her head into the room. "Are you up for company?"

"No." He replied, completely devoid of any emotion.

"Alright then, I'll go tell that old grumpy cyborg that you don't wanna see him." Mary sighed and turned her back toward him.

"Mary?" Jr. rolled over and looked at her. "That old man came to see me?"

"Yeah. He looks awfully depressed... more so than usual. You sure you don't want him to come in? I'm sure he could use some company."

"It's okay. Tell him to come in." Jr. replied, knowing that Ziggy wasn't the type to do something like this. He knew how close he had been to MOMO.

"Alright then." With that, Mary left.

A moment later, heavy footsteps could be heard entering the room. Jr looked up and watched as he took a seat across the room. "Hey." He managed.

Ziggy acknowledged him and gave a simple nod. Then, he retreated back into his shell. For some time the room was completely quiet. Neither of them could look at the other. Yet at the same time, a sort of mutual, silent conversation was shared. After several minutes, he managed to speak. "Has anyone informed Doctor Mizrahi?"

"Not that I know of." Jr. responded, scratching at his red hair. "I don't think any of us were up to telling her."

Ziggy sunk back into the chair, and closed his eyes solemnly. After a few minutes, he spoke again. "I should be the one to tell her, in that case." He stood then, and approached the bed where his now-grown friend was lying. He knew that if anyone would be capable of ending his misery, it would be Juli. Ziggy realized that he may not ever return to this place. Wanting the best for his friend, but unable to do nothing more, he placed his hand on his shoulder. It was a weak attempt at comfort, he knew. Nothing could take away the pain of loosing someone so close, except maybe time. He knew this far too well. Another unspoken dialogue occurred, and then, just as soon as he had come, he was gone.

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Juli was absorbed in work, files were strewn about the table, while a quarter cup of tea sat, long gone cold. She was busy typing responses to several emails when the buzzer sounded at her door. Not expecting any visitors at her personal residence, she rose, pulling her house coat over her frame. She approached the door and opened it. To her surprise, she found the blonde cyborg that was once under her employ standing before her. "Jan, I wasn't expecting you. Come in."

Ziggy stepped inside, and the door slid closed behind him. He had spent the course of his trip to Fifth Jerusalem planning how he would approach her with this subject. Now that he was here, he didn't know what to say. He wondered for a moment, if this was what chaos had felt when he told him.

"What is it, is something wrong?" Juli asked, brushing a lock of hair behind her ears. She could sense the tension coming from him. "Where's MOMO, did she come with you?"

Ziggy frowned and closed his eyes, as was his reaction whenever he heard someone speak of her name. "I'm sorry..." He said, thinking it ironic how he was now mimicking chaos.

Juli felt herself tremble. "No..." She shook her head. "It can't be... I--"

"Juli..." He said her first name this time. "I failed her. I couldn't protect her."

"Oh God..." Her knees went weak, and she would have fallen to the floor, had Ziggy not caught her in time. "Why... how?" She asked.

Ziggy helped her to the sofa, where he too sat next to her. He explained everything as best that he could. Juli began to cry as she heard his words. He tried not to let his voice falter, but as the words came, he cracked. The hard emotionless facade that he broadcast to the world had broken. He looked away from her, ashamed of himself.

Juli blamed herself. Had she not let her go with them, and kept her safe at home, she would have been there. She too wondered if there was something else that could have been done, despite the fact that Ziggy had told her otherwise. She looked over at him finally, and noticed his face had become buried in his hands. She leaned over, placing her arms around him. She wondered how many times he had done this in the course of the past week, or if he had at all. "Jan..."

He didn't speak, he didn't make a sound. He wondered how she found it in herself to try to comfort him when she had just lost her second daughter. He admired her for her strength, and wondered how she had managed after everything. He stiffened even further as he felt Juli try to pull his hands away. Although feeling as though he had no other choice in the matter, he dropped them, exposing a tear-streaked face.

"Stay with me." She asked wiping at her own tears, before reaching to wipe away his.

"I... have no where else to go." He said after a long silence.

"The last time, I was alone. I don't want you to be alone either." She explained.

"I'd... like that."

Three days had passed by, and Juli was unable to attend to her duties at the S.O.C.E. She had called in, explaining the situation. It didn't seem as if anyone really understood, save for perhaps her realian secretary. The two spent the time lying next to each other in her large bed, unable to do anything else. Ziggy eventually found the courage to hold her hand. Then, he tried to stroke her hair. Juli had cried into him countless times, and often fell into a light slumber in his arms.

He helped Juli the best that he could. He somehow found the strength to wash her clothes and even cook for her. Although his knowledge of cooking was extremely limited, he remembered MOMO and Shion teaching him a few times in the past. Despite that the thought of making macaroni and cheese brought back fond and painful memories, he did the best that he could. It was the least he could do for her.

She appreciated his efforts, but she couldn't eat. He insisted that she do so, and he tried everything he could to keep her healthy. Her limited sleep was also filled with despair. The only thing which kept her going, was the cyborg who remained at her side. She new it was the same for him as well, but she wondered why he still was able to cling to life after all of this. She was thankful, however, that she wasn't alone.

Perhaps it was their shared experiences and pain that brought them together. Ziggy wished that he could enjoy this closeness with MOMO in the house as well. He knew that she would be happy to know her mother and him had come to rely on each other like this. Despite the pain in his heart, he realized that he loved this woman. Yet, at the same time, he was afraid of failing her. He knew that these actions were only a means to bring comfort to her. He realized how attached he had become to feeling wanted and _needed_. Yet, the thoughts of wanting to end everything prevailed in the back of his mind. He blotted them out the best that he could. Somehow this situation rang familiar to him. He knew that he couldn't be selfish.

Juli knew this, all too well. It was his request, after all, that his memories be removed. But it had been because of MOMO that she asked him to live. One afternoon, after Ziggy had somehow managed to prepare her a very late and bland breakfast, she brought this issue up. Ziggy had just lied down beside her. She stirred as she felt the mattress shift with his weight. Turning over, she looked at him with hollow and swollen eyes. He was gazing listlessly up at the ceiling with his hands folded across his stomach. "Jan..."

"Hmm?" He glanced over at her.

"If you want, I can put you out of your misery."

He frowned at her. "What?"

"We'll go together. Both of us."

"I can't put an end to my life, Juli. You know that." He explained, his voice sounding dry, exhausted, and weak.

"Your counter programming doesn't prevent _someone else_ from taking your life. I don't have access to the equipment here, but If can somehow find a way to erase your consciousness... If not, we can find other means. Then, I'll take my life afterwards. I have nothing left to loose at this point."

"Juli..." He turned to her, and gripped her hand. "I wouldn't want to make her sad. If she knew..."

"But she's not here." She said, a hint of bitterness in her voice. "She's not going to know."

Ziggy sighed and closed his eyes. "I know... It's just that I--"

His words were cut short as a Juli's connection gear rang with a new email. She sighed wondering if she should get out of bed to get it. "It's probably another message from one of those Parliament members wanting to know what I'm up to."

"You should check it."

"Fuck it." She sighed. "Fuck it all. It's just not even worth it." She eventually rose from the bed and walked to the connection gear. The constant beeping was ringing on her last nerve. She picked it up and looked at the sender. Curious, she read over the email, and then promptly dropped the connection gear on the floor.

Ziggy sat up, and looked at her, alarmed.

"It's Shion." She was unable to move. "She said that she thinks there may be a way to bring her back."

He rose to his feet and promptly picked up the connection gear. He read over the email, and then turned to Juli, pulling her into an embrace. "Maybe there's hope for us after all."

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**Author's Notes:** Hehehee... if you want to find out what else happens, read 100-series' fic. XD I spent more time on this that I had completely intended. I never really wrote anything so depressing or angst-ridden before. But, I wanted to give it a shot. And... this completely ended up being a Juli x Ziggy fic... A lot of the Juli stuff was written for Explixi, and I referenced one of her characters in an RP. Woo. :D I hope both of you enjoy!


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